I’ll Watch Anything

January 28, 2008 at 3:43 pm (Uncategorized)
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So, this is what happens when a song gets stuck in my head after hearing it for the first time in forever…I start to parody it in my head. Sometimes, like today, I’m inspired to make a full song out of it. So…enjoy my nuttiness.

“I’ll Watch Anything”
By Jeremy Thomas
To the tune of “I’ll Do Anything” by Simple Plan

Another day on the picket line
While the writers stand up for their rights
But I sit here
And I’m still waiting

And I’m on my couch, this ain’t no fun
’cause so many shows didn’t get done
And now they’re gone
And I can’t watch them

So I sit here, I drink a beer, try to enjoy myself, yeah

I’ll watch anything
While the writers are on strike
I’ll watch whatever crap
The networks show to keep us pacified
I’ll watch anything
Even reality TV
But God, I hope that soon
Heroes gets it’s Volume 3

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel sore
The scripters deserve what they’ve asked for
The studio heads
Are greedy bastards

But I’m going nuts with all this crap
How many damn game shows can they tap?
I don’t need to see
Singaporean Idol

This could be the one last straw, I can’t take it no more
This network junk, it’s really such a bore, yeah

But I’ll watch anything
While the writers are on strike
They try to make me laugh
But I’d rather deal with staph
I’ll watch anything
Leno’s so depressing now
Without his writing team–
Wait, he wasn’t funny anyhow…

I close my eyes
And wait for it to end
I close my eyes
It’s easier just to pretend
Nanana, nanana
’cause I want something new to view
Nanana, nanananaaaa

I’ll watch anything
While the writers march in line
To try to find a way
To force myself to pass the time
I’ll watch anything
Even Price is Right Primetime
But I want my Family Guy
And CSI

I’ll watch anything
Just bring my Office back
I’ll watch anything
24 is like my crack
I’ll watch anything
But what’s on now is whack
I’ll watch anything
Give me my House, that crazy quack…

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More Filky Stuff

November 1, 2007 at 1:30 pm (Uncategorized)
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So, the last post got a pretty decent reception, and a couple people have told me I should post more. Here’s the one other I could find that would make sense to anyone–or, at least, anyone who’s played World of Darkness roleplaying games, particularly online. If you haven’t played said games, then forgive my geekiness…it truly knows no bounds.

CROSSOVER
To the tune of “Glamorous” by Fergie — Video Here

Are you ready?
If you let me get away with it, I’ll go for broke
I said, you let me get away with it, I’ll go for broke

C-R-O-S-S-O-V-E-R, yeah
C-R-O-S-S-O-V-E-R

I’m maxing my stats up to the sky
Got Appearance maxed out at Five
I’m crossin’ genres, and I won’t change
Love the crossover, ooh, I’m twinky, twinky

The crossover, the crossover, crossover
Love the crossover, ooh, the twinky, twinky
The crossover, the crossover, crossover
Love the crossover, ooh, the twinky, twinky

Tzimisce with angel’s wings,
All those rules don’t mean a thing
Changeling Arts and high True Breed
Bought by lots of min-maxing

I will be the drama queen
Emo-ing up every scene
I’m not mean, I’m just obscene
Playing whores who are sixteen

Welcome to my cyber hell
Subtlety, farewell
I don’t care, I’m still cool
No matter how much the ST’s yell

After the scene, once the angst ensues
I like to go write up my new Garou
Dreamin’, and scheming on ways
That I can get Dominate
So now

I’m maxing my stats up to the sky
Got Appearance maxed out at Five
I’m crossin’ genres, and I won’t change
I love the crossover, I’m twinky, twinky

The crossover, the crossover, crossover
Love the crossover, the twinky, twinky
The crossover, the crossover, crossover
Love the crossover, the twinky, twinky

I’m talkin’ Brujah wi-ishes, Euthanatos dre-e-eams
I deserve nothing but all the uber thi-i-ings
Now the S-T has no clue what to do with us
I got freebies from my Flaws for the two of us

Plus I gotta stay coquettish
And play each and every fetish
Lifestyles so sick and depraved
That DeSade would get jealous
Fortitude just for the soak, add Lore of Death to that–no joke
If you let me get away with it, I’ll go for broke

C-R-O-S-S-O-V-E-R, yeah
C-R-O-S-S-O-V-E-R

I’m maxing my stats up to the sky
Got Appearance maxed out at Five
I’m crossin’ genres, and I won’t change
Love the crossover, ooh, I’m twinky, twinky

The crossover, the crossover, crossover
Love the crossover, ooh, the twinky, twinky
The crossover, the crossover, crossover
Love the crossover, ooh, the twinky, twinky

I got Merits up to here
They just let me raise my Spheres
You’re telling me these crazy rules
That I don’t wanna hear

I got firepower like a tank,
And I’d really like to thank
The Golden Rule, I’d like to thank
Thank you very much

’cause I remember way back when
Back before White Wolf began
My paladin was dark elven
She was really hot

Yeah, it takes a lot of fools
To play hell with all the rules
I’m glad contradiction abounds
That gives arguing ground

(You let me get away with it, I’ll go for broke) I’ve got arguing ground
(You let me get away with it, I’ll go for broke) I’ll fight it pound for pound
(You let me get away with it, I’ll go for broke) I’ve got arguing gound
(You let me get away with it, I’ll go for broke) I’ll fight it pound for pound

–Jer


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The Ravyn Filks!

October 28, 2007 at 1:09 am (Uncategorized)
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So, sometimes, I get a song stuck in my head, and words start to come out. Geeky words. It ends up as what’s known as filk. I’m not claiming to be a Tom Smith or any of the other artists at the FuMP; I’m no Leslie Fish, Luke Ski, or Mercedes Lackey. Sometimes, though–just sometimes–I manage to amuse myself.

The following is one of those rare times.

Insta(nce)-Death
To the tune of “Pepper” by the Butthole Surfers

Marky was a paladin
With a Holy talent tree
He was sharing Sharon’s spec
Because Sharon was a priest

Mikey was a Combat Rogue
Bobby had a war staff
They were all in love with dyin’
They were doin’ it in Warcraft

Tommy played his warrior
Just like he played his mage
Then his party wiped in Zul’Farrak
He was tanking while at range
They were all in love with dyin’
Using every single button
As they tried to kill the boss
At the bottom of the dungeon

I don’t mind the quests sometimes
They set for me my goals
By killing mobs and getting things
My reputation grows
Gnomeregan and Dire Maul
And into the Deadmines
You never know how screwed you are
Until the party wipes

Some will die in BRD
A firey fight with Magmus
Some will die in Uldaman
Losing to Archaedas
Some will fall in love with life
And use all of their buttons
As they try to kill the boss
At the bottom of the dungeon

I don’t mind the quests sometimes
They set for me my goals
By killing mobs and getting things
My reputation grows
Shadowfang and Molten Core
And Stockades are good times
You never know how screwed you are
Until the party wipes

Another Mikey made ‘em wipe
While questing on in Scholo
Skipper died because of it
He quit and left to solo
Then there was the ever-present
Mage who loved to aggro
They were all in love with dyin’
So they didn’t force him to go

Holly shot a bullet
But it broke the caster’s sheep
Well, she should’ve just been smarter
Her repair bill’d be less steep
They were all in love with dyin’
Using every single button
As they tried to kill the boss
At the bottom of the dungeon

I don’t mind the quests sometimes
They set for me my goals
By killing mobs and getting things
My reputation grows
Naxxramas and Zul’Gurub,
Victory shall be mine
You never know how screwed you are
Until the party wipes

–Jer


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