The Ravyn’s Nest

You know…I was going to blog yesterday about Paris Hilton, and then I decided not to. After all, this useless waste of humanity already has more then enough ink, real and digital, spilled about her…why should I add to it? Any attention paid to the woman who’s fame is solely due to being disgustingly rich, a reality TV show, and a really bad sex tape is too much, especially at this point. Why in the world would I want to give that…that THING any more attention?

And then I came across this picture, and it just lifted my heart.

Doesn’t that just lift your heart?

I know, I know, it’s not very original or thoughtful to rag on Paris Hilton. Everyone is outraged that she initially served only five freaking days in jail of her prison sentence. And everyone (besides her, her parents, LA Sheriff Lee Baca and Dog the Bounty Hunter) is thrilled that she’s going to serve the remaining 40 days behind bars. We get the point already.

But really. Is it right that we let our blase attitude toward pieces of trash like Hilton numb us to the fact that people like her, anti-Semite Mel Gibson, and other celebrities usually live under a double-standard? Hilton friend (and sex-tape “star” herself) Kim Kardashian may claim that no one else would receive such a harsh sentence, but we all know full well that this is bullshit. Thousands of people are sent to prison every day for similar crimes as the one Hilton committed. Most of them serve a hell of a lot more then five days, and “medical issues” like the one Hilton claimed are never a cause to let people go. This is why prisons have medical facilities. Hell, people on suicide watches often don’t get the benefits this nobody got. House imprisonment? *Snorts* Yeah, that’s really a problem for someone who lives in a 2,700 square foot home in the Hollywood Hills that has a CLOSET bigger then her cell was (is!) going to be.

Let’s face it. Judge Michael Sauer did the right thing, end of story. Paris supposedly was distraught about going to jail, and that’s the “medical issue.” Wow, big shock, I would be, too. Get over yourself, suck it up, do your time. If you’d been a big girl about this, maybe you could have actually gained some respect in terms of being willing to take the consequences for your actions. Now…you’re just the drama queen retard nobody that everyone knew you were.

And, on another note, we find the OTHER retard in a priceless picture. This one was at least doing his job (much as he ever does), attending the G8 summit in Heiligendamm, Germany.

Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture? Anything at all? Really, look closely. That’s a beer in the hand (and going into the mouth) of our President, an admitted former alcohol abuser, while he’s at a diplomatic summit with the leaders of Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Russia, and the United Kingdom. Seriously, folks, what the fuck is wrong with this man? It simply defies explanation.

And yes, I know, it’s a “non-alcoholic” beer. Point of fact #1…non-alcoholic beer is, for the most part, a misnomer. They do in fact contain some quantities of alcohol, and besides that, the taste alone is enough to make it something that should be avoided by people who have a history of abuse. (Note that Bush has never claimed to be an alcoholic, although he has admitted to abusing it. Splitting hairs.) Point of fact #2…the morning after this, Bush was laid up in bed with illness, one that (I’m quoting from the article here) “his aides said ‘was probably more viral in nature’ and did not appear to be the result of anything he ate at the summit.”

Viral illness, or hangover? Hmmm. Yeah, when the man who has his finger on the buttons of our nukes is potentially on the sauce again, I worry. Go figure.

Lastly, one more picture, from Dubya’s visit to Pope Benedict, a man who has been famously compared to none other then Emperor Palpatine and managed to piss off Muslims in a way that few people know how to do when he specifically quoted a passage from Byzantine Emperor Manuel II Palaiologos that went a little something like this: “Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.” Yeah, that’s a Pope for the new fucking millennium.

Anyway, I saw the picture, and I just couldn’t help myself but to caption it. Enjoy.

I’m so going to this theoretical Hell.

–Jer

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