Movies: 246
Seasons of Various Television Shows: 27
Hey, everyone has their vices, right?
–Jer
Current DVD Collection Status
October 1, 2008 at 12:50 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: movies, ramblings
Joss Whedon Is Brilliant Again
July 16, 2008 at 5:43 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: images, joss whedon, movies, nathan fillion, neil patrick harris
Brilliant.
Watch it. Love it.
A New Gig For the Byrdy
March 29, 2008 at 12:07 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: 411Mania, movies, work
So, something new’s a-brewing in the Nest.
One of the sites I visit, 411Mania, is an independent media site focusing on movies, music, wrestling, sports, MMA, gaming, and politics. Earlier this week, there were postings across the site advertising for open writer’s position. On a lark, I submitted my review I did for Into the Wild right here on the Nest. And what do you know…they liked it.
So, pursuant to that, you’re looking at the newest Film Reviewer for the Movies Section of 411Mania. Or, at least, you’re looking at his typing.
So yeah, I’m jazzed. Should be a fun gig, and writing reviews typically takes me all of a half-hour or so…and obviously, it’s not like it’s something I don’t do occasionally already. Just means more people get to see it.
If you’ve got a hankering to see what I think about movies, come check me out. My first review, for the MTV Films drama Stop-Loss, will be posted up on Monday, and I’ve got first appearances coming up in some of the regular columns like the April Movies Roundtable and Fact or Fiction. Hope to see you there!
–Jer
Now Playing: Nine Inch Nails – The Downward Spiral – Hurt
Ravyn Reviews: Into The Wild
March 11, 2008 at 5:33 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: movies, review
“The core of mans’ spirit comes from new experiences.”
It’s not very often a film manages to utterly surprise me. It’s even less often when it manages to utterly stun me. Living in an age of cookie-cutter cinema and cut-and-dry, predictable blockbusters, it’s usually pretty easy for the knowledgeable movie-viewer to know exactly if he or she is going to like a film before it ever starts. From high-budget, low-brain summer blockbusters to low-rent, high-quality “indie films,” there are very few surprises in the movie-making business. This is not to say that the art is necessarily gone. Simply that there’s only so much that is left to surprise anymore.
And then, you find a film like Into the Wild. And you wind up surprised.
Based on the true story of Christopher McCandless, the Sean Penn-written and -directed film was released with little hoopla into a handful of theaters in September of last year. It made a modest $18 million dollars, which was enough to recoup it’s budget but not much else, and garnered some awards attention. Still, it was a film easily missed, including an Best Supporting Actor Oscar Nomination for Hal Holbrook and a Golden Globe win for Best Song. Despite the awards recognition, it was a film easily missed. However, missing this truly does mean that you’re missing out on a great, amazing story of the human spirit.
McCandless (Emile Hirsch), the son of a NASA engineer and his business-partner wife, leaves college and proceeds to forsake Harvard Law School. Instead, he give the remainding $24,000 of his college fund to charity, burns all the money in his wallet, destroys all his identification, and sets off on a trip to live in the wild, on his own, without telling anyone where he’s gone. Along the way, while his dysfunctional family suffers at the loss, he shares life experiences with hippie-esque drifter Jan (Catherine Keener) and her boyfriend Rainey (Brian Dierker), works in South Dakota for a grain farmer Wayne (Vince Vaughn), discovers a bond in Southern California with retiree Ron Franz (Holbrook), and eventually makes his way to Alaska, where he spends four months in the Alaskan wilderness. All of these experiences shape his life, and he leaves his mark on each of these people as much as they touch him.
Sean Penn has directed before, but never a film such as this. With Into the Wild, Penn, who no one can argue is anything but an extraordinary actor, proves how deft he is as both a writer and a director. He never takes the obvious or predictable road, never villainizing or invoking hero worship of any one character, even Christopher. This is not a huge-budget movie, but under Penn’s touch and cinematographer Eric Gautier’s vision, the film has an epic feel. It takes place in the parts of America that are far from the board rooms, the taxi routes, the “civilized” parts of the country, and the landscapes are truly beautiful and amazing. It’s a credit to Penn’s vision that we’re able to see this.
If it’s Penn’s vision that brings the film to life, it’s Emile Hirsch’s truly amazing performance as Chris that brings the character to life. Hirsch has quickly developed his reputation (in my mind) as the most underrated actor in his age bracket. Shia LaBeouf may be getting all the big roles, but for my money, Hirsch is proving, with roles in such films as Lords of Dogtown and Alpha Dog that he’s a face of the future. Christopher is his best role to date. Hirsch invokes such a sympathy for the character, yet makes him fallible and all too human. Christopher’s transformation throughout the film is breath-taking and a sight to behold, and it’s because of Hirsch that we’re treated to this. If this film had failed, a large part of the blame would have fallen on Hirsch; and conversely, as it did succeed, he deserves the lion’s share of the credit.
The supporting cast is also great. Catherine Keener as Jan takes on the mother role that Marcia Gay Harden’s Billie McCandless doesn’t provide until it’s too late. Hal Holbrook, the deserving Best Supporting Actor Nominee, does likewise as a father, where William Hurt’s Walt McCandless fell short. All four of these fine actors shine in their roles, and what are essentially smaller roles become multi-layered and complex, and even when you hate Walt and Billie, you feel for them. And that makes them real. Vince Vaughn is good as Wayne, though it’s a bit jarring to see him in a role like this, and is the only person in the cast who is unable to transcend his own persona for the role.
This is not a perfect film. At 148 minutes, it does feel that long a couple of times. It can also be argued as to be perhaps overly sympathetic; McCandless is not a particularly loved name in Alaska for several reasons, and I can’t find it in myself to disagree with some of them. I think the largest sin this movie has is its very existance; the argument has been made that the idea of a film about McCandless’s life goes against everything the man himself stood for. While this may or may not be true, it’s difficult to watch Vince Vaughn in a film where the very theme is about casting off that which binds you to your life, all the material possessions you own, and living freely. Ultimately, this is a minor sin, because Into the Wild is not a film that was ever going to make big money. Penn knew it, Hirsch knew it, everyone did. This is a film with a message, a film with something to say. And the ultimate theme of the movie, I think McCandless would agree with. So while it’s not a perfect film, it is a film that stands on it’s own as one of the best, and most surprising, films of 2007.
“If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed.”
True words.
–Jer
Ledger Death–An Interesting (If Entirely Sad) Thought
January 22, 2008 at 4:20 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: heath ledger, movies, news, ramblings
Having been following the story as it develops, I found myself on a New York Times article with an interview conducted with Ledger while filming The Dark Knight. It provides some interesting information…
It all tied him in knots. “I stressed out a little too much,” Mr. Ledger said.
He tends to do that. He is here in London filming the latest episode of the “Batman” franchise, “The Dark Knight.” (Mr. Bale, as it happens, plays Batman; Mr. Ledger plays the Joker.) It is a physically and mentally draining role — his Joker is a “psychopathic, mass-murdering, schizophrenic clown with zero empathy” he said cheerfully — and, as often happens when he throws himself into a part, he is not sleeping much.
“Last week I probably slept an average of two hours a night,” he said. “I couldn’t stop thinking. My body was exhausted, and my mind was still going.” One night he took an Ambien, which failed to work. He took a second one and fell into a stupor, only to wake up an hour later, his mind still racing.
Even as he spoke, Mr. Ledger was hard-pressed to keep still. He got up and poured more coffee. He stepped outside into the courtyard and smoked a cigarette. He shook his hair out from under its hood, put a rubber band around it, took out the rubber band, put on a hat, took off the hat, put the hood back up. He went outside and had another cigarette. Polite and charming, he nonetheless gave off the sense that the last thing he wanted to do was delve deep into himself for public consumption. “It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself,” is how he put it, a little apologetically.
Conducting a tour of the house, which he is renting for a few months, he made wry remarks about the art. One painting depicts a crowd of creatures who appear to be in hell, but who seem determined to extract as much sexual pleasure as they can from their eternity of free time; Mr. Ledger has turned another one around and hung it upside down, to no apparent ill advantage.
An open bag with clothes spilling out lay on the floor of the master bedroom. “I’m kind of addicted to moving,” Mr. Ledger said, perhaps on account of having had to shuttle back and forth after his parents’ divorce, when he was 11. He carries his interests around with him, and his kitchen table was awash in objects: a chess set, assorted books, various empty glasses, items of clothing. Here too was his Joker diary, which he began compiling four months before filming began. It is filled with images and thoughts helpful to the Joker back story, like a list of things the Joker would find funny. (AIDS is one of them.) Mr. Ledger seemed almost embarrassed that the book had been spotted, as if he had been caught trying to get extra credit in school.
“He’s very disciplined and takes it very seriously,” said Marc Forster, who directed Mr. Ledger in “Monster’s Ball,” in which he played a troubled prison guard. Mr. Ledger came to the part at the last minute, but caught on quickly. “Heath at the time was something like 22, and I thought: ‘He’s incredible. He’s so smart and so intuitive and so observant, and he really understood the part and the character.’”
I don’t want to jump to conclusions…but look at that bit in the third paragraph about being unable to sleep and taking Ambien that failed to work. It’s hardly inconceivable that the OD from sleeping pills was a result of his continued inability to sleep. Method acting takes a toll on actors from time to time, and I can’t help but think that this is an accidental death that has nothing to do with a drug problem.
–Jer
Now Playing: Blink 182 – Greatest Hits – Stay Together for the Kids
Heath Ledger Found Dead In New York Apartment
January 22, 2008 at 3:05 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: heath ledger, movies, news, obituary, wtf
I just…wow. Seriously, talk about your Tuesday shocker. According to the New York Times (and now the Associated Press and several other outlets), Heath Ledger has died:
The actor Heath Ledger was found dead this afternoon in an apartment in Manhattan, according to the New York City police. Signs pointed to a suicide or an accidental overdose, police sources said. Mr. Ledger was 28.
At 3:31 p.m., a masseuse arrived the fourth-floor apartment of the building, at 421 Broome Street in SoHo, for an appointment with Mr. Ledger, the police said. The masseuse was let in to the home by a housekeeper, who then knocked on the door of the bedroom Mr. Ledger was in. When no one answered, the housekeeper and the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr. Ledger naked and unconscious on a bed, with pills scattered around his body. They moved his body to the floor and attempted to revive him, but he did not respond. They immediately called the authorities.
The police said they did not suspect foul play. Ellen Borakove, a spokeswoman for the office of the city’s chief medical examiner, Dr. Charles S. Hirsch, said that employees of the office were at the apartment and that an autopsy would be conducted on Wednesday.
Police officials have said that the apartment was owned by the actress Mary-Kate Olsen,
Officials said they believed Ms. Olsen, 21, was in California and that Mr. Ledger had been living in her apartment. Ms. Olsen attended the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, for the premiere of “The Wackness,” a film in which she stars with the actor Ben Kingsley. It was not clear where she went after the film screening.Mr. Ledger, a native of Perth, Australia, won acclaim for his role as a co-star in “Brokeback Mountain” (2005). The film, based on a short story by Annie Proulx about two cowboys who fall in love, won critical acclaim. Reviewing the film in The New York Times, the critic Stephen Holden wrote, “Mr. Ledger magically and mysteriously disappears beneath the skin of his lean, sinewy character. It is a great screen performance, as good as the best of Marlon Brando and Sean Penn.” Mr. Ledger was nominated for an Oscar for Best Actor in January 2006.
Mr. Ledger met the actress Michelle Williams while filming ‘’Brokeback Mountain.” The two actors fell into a romance and moved to Boerum Hill, Brooklyn, where their comings and goings were widely noted by the celebrity press. They had a daughter, Matilda Rose, who was born on Oct. 28, 2005. The couple separated last year.
Mr. Ledger’s first Hollywood film was the teenage romantic comedy “10 Things I Hate About You” (1999). He later appeared in romantic-hero roles in films like “A Knight’s Tale” (2001) and “Casanova” (2005).
Mr. Ledger was also cast as The Joker in the latest Batman installment, “The Dark Knight,” set to be released this summer.
In an interview in London for an article published in November, Mr. Ledger told The New York Times, ‘’I feel like I’m wasting time if I repeat myself.” He said in the interview that he was not proud of his latest role, in Todd Haynes’s “I’m Not There,” in which Mr. Ledger was one of a half-dozen actors depicting the musician Bob Dylan. ‘’I feel the same way about everything I do. The day I say, ‘It’s good’ is the day I should start doing something else,” said in the interview.
As news of Mr. Ledger’s death made its way across the Internet, the Police Department issued a fairly terse summary of the death: “ON TUESDAY, 01/22/08, AT APPROXIMATELY 1530 HOURS, IN THE CONFINES OF THE 5 PRECINCT, POLICE RESPONDED TO 421 BROOME STREET AND FOUND A M/W/28 UNCONSCIOUS. THE VICTIM WAS PRONOUNCED DOA AT THE SCENE. M.E.’S OFFICE TO DETERMINE THE CAUSE OF DEATH. INVESTIGATION CONTINUES.”
Calls by The Times to Mara Buxbaum, a publicist for Mr. Ledger, and Steve Alexander, the actor’s agent, were not immediately returned this afternoon.
I don’t really know what to say about this one yet. Obviously, it’s an early report; there’s currently conflicting information of whether the apartment was his or Mary-Kate Olson’s, and whether the death was suicide or accidental. Gossip site TMZ is all over it, as usual, and has posted all sorts of information that may or may not be true.
I’m a huge Heath Ledger fan, even some of his less-then-quality films like Ten Things I Hate About You and The Order. (I never could bring myself to like A Knight’s Tale, though.) Obviously, his performance in Brokeback Mountain was nothing short of amazing. I was so utterly jazzed about his Joker in The Dark Knight…this is just kind of shocking to me.
We’ll have to see how it progresses. It doesn’t change that he’s dead obviously, but personally, I hope it was accidental, and not suicide.
UPDATE: It appears the apartment was not Olsen’s, and the medication aspect has been changed from “pills scattered around his body” to “sleeping pills — both prescription medication and nonprescription — on a night table.”. The OD could very well be accidental.
–Jer
Now Playing: The All-American Rejects – Move Along – Move Along
Ravyn’s Year In Review: Movies
January 9, 2008 at 4:47 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: movies, rant, reflection
Yes, folks…it’s time. A year has come and gone…and I could expound upon a long, involved and heartfelt restrospective about life, love, joy and loss, how I’ve changed and grown, my successes, my failures, and all that reflective stuff…but I’d rather talk about what’s really important.
Movies.
For those of you who know me only by my WordPress here, and not my LiveJournal, this is a yearly thing I do. The format is generally the same from year to year (this is the third year); I present my Top Ten and Bottom Five movies of the year. I list the ones I have not yet seen, and catagorize them.
Everyone got the format done? Cool. Then let’s get bumpin’.
Ravyn’s Top 10 Films Of 2007
Honorable Mention: The Invisible, Waitress, Breach, Mr. Brooks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Ratatouille, Shoot ‘Em Up, 3:10 to Yuma
10. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix — While I know there’s a lot of Potter-haters out there (mostly due to backlash against it’s success, I tend to think), the movies are pretty good about translating the books into faithful film adaptations. Potter-Nitpickers, shut up right now. I know that things get cut out of the movies. Guess what? This happens. Next time, tell your beloved Rowling to not write 600-800 page books, and maybe less will get cut. Anyway…I came into this movie with high expectations; Order of the Phoenix is my personal favorite of the books. And if those expectations had been a bit lower, maybe this film would have ranked higher. I can’t deny, though, that director David Yates captured the darker, more mature overtones of the book. The film almost seems a social commentary in some parts, with Dolores Umbridge (played to perfection by the always excellent actress Imelda Staunton) acting as a near-symbol for the oppressive, Big Brother-esque environment we live in, post-9/11. The film is shockingly adult, but in a good way, and the cast does the work justice. Theater and independent film work in-between films has done Daniel Radcliffe an absolute world of good, as he’s grown by leaps and bounds from the somewhat awkward performance he gave in Goblet of Fire. A film that stands on it’s own as good, as well as a great chapter in the series.
9. Disturbia — This one was a very, very pleasant surprise for me. I’d always liked Shia LaBeouf before this from his bit roles in Constantine and I, Robot, but I had certainly never seen him as the kind of guy who can carry a film. This one really changed my mind–and many film-goers, from the almost-shocking $80 million gross. LaBeouf acquits himself admirably in a clever remake of Rear Window, updating the Hitchcock classic to modern times. Playing on the paranoia that’s affected the world in the last few years, it delivers a taut, suspenseful story with some great acting from both Shia and David Morse as the suspicious neighbor. I came away from this movie amazingly surprised, and that was enough to make it one of the best movies of the year.
8. Live Free or Die Hard — The trailer for this film had me on my seat. The friggin’ TRAILER, people. So I was all about seeing this, and it certainly didn’t disappoint. The great thing about John McClaine, and why he’s one of the greatest action heroes of all time, is that he doesn’t walk through things unscathed…he’s not a super-trained military assassin with invincible kung fu skills. The man gets the crap kicked out of him in every film…the bad guys hurt him badly, and he’s always out-matched. But he continues on, because someone has to, and he always beats the odds. Often bleeding badly, but cackling like a psycho. Yes, the film is far-fetched. But it’s a hell of a lot of fun. Justin Long is amazing as Matt, the hacker pulled into a situation FAR over his head, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead shows that Lucy McClaine is going to be a bad-ass, just like dad. This was the summer film of the year, without a doubt.
7. Talk To Me — If you’re like most of America, you haven’t heard of this one. It was released the week that Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix came out, on a whopping 193 theaters, and grossed a whole $4.5 million. It also features two of the performances of the year, from Chiwetel Ejiofor (the Operative from Serenity) and Don Cheadle. Based on a true story, it shows the friendship and business relationship between Dewey Hughes (Ejiofor), a manager at a Washington, D.C. AM radio station in the late 60’s and early seventies, and his deejay, Ralph “Petey” Greene (Cheadle), an ex-con who found his way into the deejay job. It’s one of the funniest and most touching films of the year, and honestly, the fact that neither actor has been mentioned as Oscar potential is criminal. I rented it on a lark and found myself riveted. I suggest you do the same.
6. Halloween — Yes, I’m gonna get haters over this one. Some people hated Rob Zombies re-imagining of the film that gave us Michael Myers. They cited too long of an intro before getting to the killing spree, or pointlessly brutal, or what-not. Personally, I found this to be one of the few times an iconic movie villian was given a back-story that worked, and it did so largely due to the cast and Zombie’s vision. The entire film is unquestionably Zombie, with his personal style all over it, and that, in the mind of a man who considered The Devil’s Rejects to be an engrossing, amazing film, is a good thing. Filled with many of his personal cadre of actors loyal to him (William Forsythe, Shari Moon Zombie, Danny Trejo, and more), Zombie knew exactly how to pull amazing performances out of them. The best come from Moon Zombie as Myer’s mother in an exceedingly human and real performance, and newcomer Daeg Faerch, who is an absolute revelation as young Michael. This kid pulls of psychopath exceedingly well, being charming and normal one moment, and then, with a subtle change, absolutely terrifying. Malcolm McDowell fills Donald Pleasance’s shoes well as Sam Loomis; the only misfire is Scout Taylor-Compton as Laurie Strode, who comes off as annoying and unsympathetic. All in all, the best remake of a horror film yet.
5. Zodiac — I had this one pegged early as what would be my favorite film of the year. My favorite serial killer, Robert Downey Jr., Jake Gyllenhall, and directed by David Fincher of Fight Club fame. I really didn’t see where this could go wrong…and it didn’t. While some few people were disappointed that it wasn’t as scary as they thought, those who had paid attention to the trailers knew this wasn’t going to be a high-octane scare movie. Instead, it was one of the most well-done criminal investigation movies of all-time. Based on a pair of books by Zodiac expert Robert Greysmith (protrayed in the movie in a top-notch manner by Gyllenhall), the film is an engrossing, well-acted procedural thriller, incredibly guided by Fincher’s deft hand. It was a film I had a lot of expectations for, and it didn’t let me down in the slightest.
4. Reign Over Me — When I first heard about an Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle (yes, him again!) film about the World Trade Center, I was admittedly skeptical. Mainly because that was all I’d heard, and I had just seen the well-made but somewhat exploitive World Trade Center from Oliver Stone and didn’t think we were ready for more of those kinds of films. Then, I heard the plot, and I figured I should give it a chance; Cheadle is gold, and Sandler can turn in some good dramatic performances when needed. I’m utterly glad I did. Much like the other Cheadle entry here, Talk To Me, this was a film that was funny at times, incredibly touching at others, and very heart-felt. Sandler gives the performance of his career as Charlie Fineman, a dentist who lost his wife and daughter in the Trade Center and has isolated himself completely from his old life as a result. Cheadle is also fine in the harder role of the straight man, the college roommate who runs into Charlie and has to help him get better. The screenplay is beautifully well-constructed, and the actors are up to the admittedly difficult challenge it gives them. A weak performance from Liv Tyler as a young psychologist is the only bump in this road well worth travelling.
3. Grindhouse — Anyone who saw my review of this film knows how much I loved it. That it wasn’t more successful is disappointing, yet not totally unexpected; it is a niche sort of film, after all. Now, if only QT and Rodriguez will release the double feature-edition DVD, I’ll be able to buy it and be a happy man.
2. Stardust — Neil Gaiman, for those unfamiliar with his writing, is the best thing going in fiction. Fuck Rowling, fuck King, fuck anyone else. None of them are as talented, as utterly amazing in terms of the written word as Gaiman. Having made his name in the comic book industry with the inestimable Sandman series, he moved onto novels and short stories, as well as Hollywood. I have a host of books I could recommend…but that’s for another time. Stardust, directed by Matthew Vaughn, is based on one of his novels. I cannot say enough good things about this film. While it veers from Gaiman’s story, it captures the essence beautifully, and Vaughn brings great performances out of Michelle Pfieffer, back to her sexy, evil ways as the wicked sorceress Lamia; Rupert Everett as dastardly, fratricidal Prince Secundus; Claire Danes as fallen star Yvaine, and Robert DeNiro as the best cross-dressing pirate of all-time (yes, I really just said that). Relative newcomer Charlie Cox is wonderful in the demanding lead role of Tristan, pulling off fresh-faced and nerdy, all the way through the transition to confident hero. Add in great special effects, wonderful supporting performances from too many people to mention, and a great soundtrack, and it’s easily one of the best films of the year.
1. Hot Fuzz — I will admit to having surprised myself with this one, because before I saw it, I didn’t think it would make my top 10 list at all, much less #1. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Shaun of the Dead, and I’m as much a fan of action films as anyone. But I was expecting this to be a fun, silly film that I’d enjoy, then forget about. How wrong I was. Hot Fuzz is not a spoof or parody of action movies as much as an homage to them, with a sly sense of humor thrown in. Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost have made the ultimate buddy action film right here. As much as I was laughing with this film, I also found the action sequences very well-done, the performances top-notch, and basically, everything about the film enjoyable. I don’t know what else to say except that it was, truly, the film to watch of 2007.
And now, we move onto the stuff that had me swearing at the TV (sometimes, I mean that literally). We had, frankly, some real shit come out in ‘07. I suggest wearing a filtration mask while reading…this crap’s so bad, it may just be communicable.
The Scummy Bottom of The Barrel–Ravyn’s Bottom 5
Dishonorable Mention: Skinwalkers, Macbeth, The Messengers, Primeval, Evan Almighty
5. The Hitcher — Sean Bean, what the hell were you THINKING?? You’re one of my favorite actors to come out of Lord of the Rings. You had such promise, being far better then the material you were in in such films as National Treasure and Troy. Since then, though, I’ve had to wonder about you. I mean, Flightplan was bad enough. Then, there was The Island. Silent Hill was forgivable, because it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. You’ve about expended my goodwill, though, with this one. To start with, a remake of The Hitcher was completely fucking unnecessary. Second, to turn a cult film like the original into a cheap torture-porn wannabe (you’ll be seeing this phrase a lot, readers) was beyond a bad idea. Third…yes, you were the best thing about this waste of celluloid. That’s not saying much. Better start finding some better roles, or you’re going to fall off my personal “actors I enjoy watching” list. And, I imagine, several other peoples’.
4. Captivity — Ahh, more torture porn. Let me start by saying that this film, like most of the torture porn genre, failed to even deliver on shocking content. While this film was best known for the controversy surrounding the MPAA punishing them for gratuitous ads, the final judgment is that it’s not original, it has no cohesive plot, and seems to just be an excuse to make poor Elisha Cuthbert, in one of her worst performances ever, scream and panic. There’s no real mystery for who’s doing it, and one is left thinking “Okay, the point of that was…?” at the end. From start to finish, an utterly worthless, pointless film.
3. Epic Movie — And you thought Captivity was worthless and pointless. I’m not a fan of the “From one of the creators of Scary Movie” parody films…Date Movie was the top of my list for worst move of ‘06, and the only thing that saved this utterly freaking retarded film from that fate was far worse movies this year, because Epic Movie is, if you can believe it, worse then Date Movie. The film-makers (and I use that term VERY loosely) just string one film reference after another in hopes that something will prompt a laugh. It doesn’t. It’s just boring and, sometimes, offensively so. And, of course, we have another one coming out this year…a “parody” of 300. God fucking damn you, Hollywood. You suck.
2. I Know Who Killed Me — I can’t even review this one without cracking up. Seriously, I tried. I was laughing too hard to type it up. Lindsay Lohan…poor girl. I just…I don’t know what to say, other then this. It’s a spoiler, but trust me, you want me to spoil this torture-porn wannabe for you. She plays stigmatic twins. That’s right…you heard me. Stigmatic fucking twins. In other words, when one of her gets her leg chopped off by a serial killer with possibly the least solid motivation for doing so in cinematic history, the other one loses her leg too. With NO explanation of how this works. You still wanna see this one? If so, you deserve what you get.
1. D.O.A.: Dead or Alive — How can something be worse then stigmatic twins? Hmmm, let’s see.
a. take a fighting video game and more-or-less sanitize all the fighting
b. cast Jamie Pressley as a professional wrestler, and try to play it seriously
c. write dialogue that a stoned monkey with a brain tumor could do a better job then.
d. have the most inept wire-fu of all time.
See? Making the worst film of the year is easy! *GroinKick*
And now, the semi-long list of movies I didn’t see:
Movies I Haven’t Seen That I Must:
30 Days of Night
Across the Universe
American Gangster
Alien Vs. Predator – Requiem
The Game Plan
White Noise 2
Beowulf
Charlie Wilson’s War
Dan in Real Life
Enchanted
Hitman
I Am Legend
I’m Not There
Lars and the Real Girl
Martian Child
Michael Clayton
No Country for Old Men
Saw IV
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
The Darjeeling Limited
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
We Own the Night
Movies I Haven’t Seen And I Will:
Death at a Funeral
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Freedom Writers
Georgia Rule
In the Land of Women
License to Wed
The Invasion
The Lives of Others
The Namesake
A Mighty Heart
Amazing Grace
August Rush
Awake
Becoming Jane
Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
Bella
Death Sentence
Evening
Gone Baby Gone
Good Luck Chuck
Home of the Brave
Hot Rod
In the Valley of Elah
Interview
Into the Wild
Lions for Lambs
Meet the Robinsons
Mr. Woodcock
No Reservations
Perfect Stranger
P.S. I Love You
P2
Pride
Rendition
September Dawn
The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising
Things We Lost in the Fire
Resurrecting the Champ
The Ex
The Golden Compass
The Great Debaters
The Mist
Movies I Haven’t Seen And Won’t:
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
Are We Done Yet?
Because I Said So
Bee Movie
BRATZ
Code Name: The Cleaner
Daddy Day Camp
Delta Farce
Dragon Wars
El Cantante
Feel the Noise
Firehouse Dog
Fred Claus
Happily N’Ever After
I Think I Love My Wife
Kickin’ It Old Skool
Love in the Time of Cholera
Lucky You
Lust, Caution
Mr. Bean’s Holiday
Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium
Nancy Drew
Norbit
Paris, je t’aime
Pathfinder: Legend of the Ghost Warrior
Redline
Reno 911!: Miami
Slow Burn
Stomp the Yard
Sydney White
The Abandoned
The Astronaut Farmer
The Brave One
The Comebacks
The Host
The Jane Austen Book Club
The Last Legion
The Last Mimzy
The Lookout
The Perfect Holiday
The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep
This Christmas
Tyler Perry’s Daddy’s Little Girls
Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married
Underdog
Who’s Your Caddy?
Normally, I would give out my personal Oscar predictions, but the nominees haven’t been announced yet, so I’ll hold off until they are.
Think I’m wrong? Wanna discuss? Feel free. I’d like to see what YOU guys think the best and worst of ‘07 were.
–Jer
Now Playing: ATB – Seven Years: 1998-2005 – Let U Go [2005 Reworked]
VoldEmoRT
July 16, 2007 at 12:54 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: books, images, movies
This is what happens when I’m suddenly struck by inspiration way past when I should be in bed…
Yes, I know. I need serious, serious help. But it’s so much fun. 
EDIT: I have, of this moment that I uploaded an image of the Dark Lord, 666 views. I think I should be frightened.
–Jer
Ravyn Reviews: Grindhouse
April 13, 2007 at 2:00 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: movies
Quintin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez are part of a cadre of directors who helped usher in the “indy film” era of Hollywood that began in the mid-90’s. While the Weinsteins were bringing Miramax to a position of prominence with films like The Crying Game, Bob Roberts, Farewell My Concubine, and The Piano, Tarantino was rising to prominence as one of America’s most important new film-makers thanks to the breakaway hit that was Pulp Fiction (and the public’s subsequent discovery of previous films True Romance and Reservoir Dogs). Meanwhile, Robert Rodriguez, the man who loves to put himself in the credits as “Shot and Cut by” rather then conventional terms like Director of Photography and Edited By, was the maker of little films like El Mariachi and more successful (if slightly inferior) Desperado. These two, along with the likes of the Coen Brothers, Steve Buscemi, Luc Besson, and several others, made a serious change to Hollywood…one that, while not always a good thing, definitely changed the look and feel of films (if you need proof, look at the Academy Awards the past few years and how many films are indy films as opposed to big studio films).
Kevin Smith does it again!
April 9, 2007 at 4:24 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: movies, politics
From an interview at Rotten Tomatoes:
UK audiences recently saw documentary journalist Louis Theroux spend time with members of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, a controversial church group made largely of members of the Phelps family and run by preacher Fred Phelps. Infamous in America for taking a supremely homophobic stance and for picketing the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq, the group see media interviews as a platform for airing their views and the word of their founder, Fred Phelps.
“That dude has always fascinated me and he’s really informed the horror movie that I’m working on,” Smith told us, “The movie’s called ‘Red State’ and it’s very much about that subject matter, that point of view and that position taken to the absolute extreme. It’s certainly not Phelps himself but it’s very much inspired by a Phelps figure.”
But while Smith is convinced that “horror” is the right definition for the film, he’s not so sure audiences will agree. “To me there’s all kinds of horror, and killing someone’s not the absolute worst thing you could do to another human being,” he said, “The death in a horror movie has always been the money shot in a very exploitative manner. Stabbing somebody and splashing blood all over them is the equivalent to some dude exploding over some broad’s face.
“And to me, too, the notion of using a Phelps-like character as a villain, as horrifying and scary as that guy can be, there’s even something more insidious than him that lurks out there in as much as a public or a government that allows it and that’s the other thing that I’m trying to examine in a big, big way. It’s weird because for a few months I’ve been saying ‘horror movie’ and technically it is, but it’s also not a very traditional horror movie in the sense that people have been asking me, ‘Is it a slasher movie? Is it like the Japanese horror flicks?’ It’d be much easier to just show it to them when I’m done and be like, ‘This is what I meant.’ At which point I’m sure there’ll be people saying, ‘This ain’t a horror movie!’ But to me, it is.”
A horror film about the Westboro Baptist Church, by Kevin Smith? Mmmm…politics, religion, horror, and Smith. Yeah, color me fucking there.
–Jer
