Yes, folks…it’s time. A year has come and gone…and I could expound upon a long, involved and heartfelt restrospective about life, love, joy and loss, how I’ve changed and grown, my successes, my failures, and all that reflective stuff…but I’d rather talk about what’s really important.
Movies.
For those of you who know me only by my WordPress here, and not my LiveJournal, this is a yearly thing I do. The format is generally the same from year to year (this is the third year); I present my Top Ten and Bottom Five movies of the year. I list the ones I have not yet seen, and catagorize them.
Everyone got the format done? Cool. Then let’s get bumpin’.
Ravyn’s Top 10 Films Of 2007
Honorable Mention: The Invisible, Waitress, Breach, Mr. Brooks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Ratatouille, Shoot ‘Em Up, 3:10 to Yuma
10. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix — While I know there’s a lot of Potter-haters out there (mostly due to backlash against it’s success, I tend to think), the movies are pretty good about translating the books into faithful film adaptations. Potter-Nitpickers, shut up right now. I know that things get cut out of the movies. Guess what? This happens. Next time, tell your beloved Rowling to not write 600-800 page books, and maybe less will get cut. Anyway…I came into this movie with high expectations; Order of the Phoenix is my personal favorite of the books. And if those expectations had been a bit lower, maybe this film would have ranked higher. I can’t deny, though, that director David Yates captured the darker, more mature overtones of the book. The film almost seems a social commentary in some parts, with Dolores Umbridge (played to perfection by the always excellent actress Imelda Staunton) acting as a near-symbol for the oppressive, Big Brother-esque environment we live in, post-9/11. The film is shockingly adult, but in a good way, and the cast does the work justice. Theater and independent film work in-between films has done Daniel Radcliffe an absolute world of good, as he’s grown by leaps and bounds from the somewhat awkward performance he gave in Goblet of Fire. A film that stands on it’s own as good, as well as a great chapter in the series.
9. Disturbia — This one was a very, very pleasant surprise for me. I’d always liked Shia LaBeouf before this from his bit roles in Constantine and I, Robot, but I had certainly never seen him as the kind of guy who can carry a film. This one really changed my mind–and many film-goers, from the almost-shocking $80 million gross. LaBeouf acquits himself admirably in a clever remake of Rear Window, updating the Hitchcock classic to modern times. Playing on the paranoia that’s affected the world in the last few years, it delivers a taut, suspenseful story with some great acting from both Shia and David Morse as the suspicious neighbor. I came away from this movie amazingly surprised, and that was enough to make it one of the best movies of the year.
8. Live Free or Die Hard — The trailer for this film had me on my seat. The friggin’ TRAILER, people. So I was all about seeing this, and it certainly didn’t disappoint. The great thing about John McClaine, and why he’s one of the greatest action heroes of all time, is that he doesn’t walk through things unscathed…he’s not a super-trained military assassin with invincible kung fu skills. The man gets the crap kicked out of him in every film…the bad guys hurt him badly, and he’s always out-matched. But he continues on, because someone has to, and he always beats the odds. Often bleeding badly, but cackling like a psycho. Yes, the film is far-fetched. But it’s a hell of a lot of fun. Justin Long is amazing as Matt, the hacker pulled into a situation FAR over his head, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead shows that Lucy McClaine is going to be a bad-ass, just like dad. This was the summer film of the year, without a doubt.
7. Talk To Me — If you’re like most of America, you haven’t heard of this one. It was released the week that Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix came out, on a whopping 193 theaters, and grossed a whole $4.5 million. It also features two of the performances of the year, from Chiwetel Ejiofor (the Operative from Serenity) and Don Cheadle. Based on a true story, it shows the friendship and business relationship between Dewey Hughes (Ejiofor), a manager at a Washington, D.C. AM radio station in the late 60’s and early seventies, and his deejay, Ralph “Petey” Greene (Cheadle), an ex-con who found his way into the deejay job. It’s one of the funniest and most touching films of the year, and honestly, the fact that neither actor has been mentioned as Oscar potential is criminal. I rented it on a lark and found myself riveted. I suggest you do the same.
6. Halloween — Yes, I’m gonna get haters over this one. Some people hated Rob Zombies re-imagining of the film that gave us Michael Myers. They cited too long of an intro before getting to the killing spree, or pointlessly brutal, or what-not. Personally, I found this to be one of the few times an iconic movie villian was given a back-story that worked, and it did so largely due to the cast and Zombie’s vision. The entire film is unquestionably Zombie, with his personal style all over it, and that, in the mind of a man who considered The Devil’s Rejects to be an engrossing, amazing film, is a good thing. Filled with many of his personal cadre of actors loyal to him (William Forsythe, Shari Moon Zombie, Danny Trejo, and more), Zombie knew exactly how to pull amazing performances out of them. The best come from Moon Zombie as Myer’s mother in an exceedingly human and real performance, and newcomer Daeg Faerch, who is an absolute revelation as young Michael. This kid pulls of psychopath exceedingly well, being charming and normal one moment, and then, with a subtle change, absolutely terrifying. Malcolm McDowell fills Donald Pleasance’s shoes well as Sam Loomis; the only misfire is Scout Taylor-Compton as Laurie Strode, who comes off as annoying and unsympathetic. All in all, the best remake of a horror film yet.
5. Zodiac — I had this one pegged early as what would be my favorite film of the year. My favorite serial killer, Robert Downey Jr., Jake Gyllenhall, and directed by David Fincher of Fight Club fame. I really didn’t see where this could go wrong…and it didn’t. While some few people were disappointed that it wasn’t as scary as they thought, those who had paid attention to the trailers knew this wasn’t going to be a high-octane scare movie. Instead, it was one of the most well-done criminal investigation movies of all-time. Based on a pair of books by Zodiac expert Robert Greysmith (protrayed in the movie in a top-notch manner by Gyllenhall), the film is an engrossing, well-acted procedural thriller, incredibly guided by Fincher’s deft hand. It was a film I had a lot of expectations for, and it didn’t let me down in the slightest.
4. Reign Over Me — When I first heard about an Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle (yes, him again!) film about the World Trade Center, I was admittedly skeptical. Mainly because that was all I’d heard, and I had just seen the well-made but somewhat exploitive World Trade Center from Oliver Stone and didn’t think we were ready for more of those kinds of films. Then, I heard the plot, and I figured I should give it a chance; Cheadle is gold, and Sandler can turn in some good dramatic performances when needed. I’m utterly glad I did. Much like the other Cheadle entry here, Talk To Me, this was a film that was funny at times, incredibly touching at others, and very heart-felt. Sandler gives the performance of his career as Charlie Fineman, a dentist who lost his wife and daughter in the Trade Center and has isolated himself completely from his old life as a result. Cheadle is also fine in the harder role of the straight man, the college roommate who runs into Charlie and has to help him get better. The screenplay is beautifully well-constructed, and the actors are up to the admittedly difficult challenge it gives them. A weak performance from Liv Tyler as a young psychologist is the only bump in this road well worth travelling.
3. Grindhouse — Anyone who saw my review of this film knows how much I loved it. That it wasn’t more successful is disappointing, yet not totally unexpected; it is a niche sort of film, after all. Now, if only QT and Rodriguez will release the double feature-edition DVD, I’ll be able to buy it and be a happy man.
2. Stardust — Neil Gaiman, for those unfamiliar with his writing, is the best thing going in fiction. Fuck Rowling, fuck King, fuck anyone else. None of them are as talented, as utterly amazing in terms of the written word as Gaiman. Having made his name in the comic book industry with the inestimable Sandman series, he moved onto novels and short stories, as well as Hollywood. I have a host of books I could recommend…but that’s for another time. Stardust, directed by Matthew Vaughn, is based on one of his novels. I cannot say enough good things about this film. While it veers from Gaiman’s story, it captures the essence beautifully, and Vaughn brings great performances out of Michelle Pfieffer, back to her sexy, evil ways as the wicked sorceress Lamia; Rupert Everett as dastardly, fratricidal Prince Secundus; Claire Danes as fallen star Yvaine, and Robert DeNiro as the best cross-dressing pirate of all-time (yes, I really just said that). Relative newcomer Charlie Cox is wonderful in the demanding lead role of Tristan, pulling off fresh-faced and nerdy, all the way through the transition to confident hero. Add in great special effects, wonderful supporting performances from too many people to mention, and a great soundtrack, and it’s easily one of the best films of the year.
1. Hot Fuzz — I will admit to having surprised myself with this one, because before I saw it, I didn’t think it would make my top 10 list at all, much less #1. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Shaun of the Dead, and I’m as much a fan of action films as anyone. But I was expecting this to be a fun, silly film that I’d enjoy, then forget about. How wrong I was. Hot Fuzz is not a spoof or parody of action movies as much as an homage to them, with a sly sense of humor thrown in. Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost have made the ultimate buddy action film right here. As much as I was laughing with this film, I also found the action sequences very well-done, the performances top-notch, and basically, everything about the film enjoyable. I don’t know what else to say except that it was, truly, the film to watch of 2007.
And now, we move onto the stuff that had me swearing at the TV (sometimes, I mean that literally). We had, frankly, some real shit come out in ‘07. I suggest wearing a filtration mask while reading…this crap’s so bad, it may just be communicable.
The Scummy Bottom of The Barrel–Ravyn’s Bottom 5
Dishonorable Mention: Skinwalkers, Macbeth, The Messengers, Primeval, Evan Almighty
5. The Hitcher — Sean Bean, what the hell were you THINKING?? You’re one of my favorite actors to come out of Lord of the Rings. You had such promise, being far better then the material you were in in such films as National Treasure and Troy. Since then, though, I’ve had to wonder about you. I mean, Flightplan was bad enough. Then, there was The Island. Silent Hill was forgivable, because it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. You’ve about expended my goodwill, though, with this one. To start with, a remake of The Hitcher was completely fucking unnecessary. Second, to turn a cult film like the original into a cheap torture-porn wannabe (you’ll be seeing this phrase a lot, readers) was beyond a bad idea. Third…yes, you were the best thing about this waste of celluloid. That’s not saying much. Better start finding some better roles, or you’re going to fall off my personal “actors I enjoy watching” list. And, I imagine, several other peoples’.
4. Captivity — Ahh, more torture porn. Let me start by saying that this film, like most of the torture porn genre, failed to even deliver on shocking content. While this film was best known for the controversy surrounding the MPAA punishing them for gratuitous ads, the final judgment is that it’s not original, it has no cohesive plot, and seems to just be an excuse to make poor Elisha Cuthbert, in one of her worst performances ever, scream and panic. There’s no real mystery for who’s doing it, and one is left thinking “Okay, the point of that was…?” at the end. From start to finish, an utterly worthless, pointless film.
3. Epic Movie — And you thought Captivity was worthless and pointless. I’m not a fan of the “From one of the creators of Scary Movie” parody films…Date Movie was the top of my list for worst move of ‘06, and the only thing that saved this utterly freaking retarded film from that fate was far worse movies this year, because Epic Movie is, if you can believe it, worse then Date Movie. The film-makers (and I use that term VERY loosely) just string one film reference after another in hopes that something will prompt a laugh. It doesn’t. It’s just boring and, sometimes, offensively so. And, of course, we have another one coming out this year…a “parody” of 300. God fucking damn you, Hollywood. You suck.
2. I Know Who Killed Me — I can’t even review this one without cracking up. Seriously, I tried. I was laughing too hard to type it up. Lindsay Lohan…poor girl. I just…I don’t know what to say, other then this. It’s a spoiler, but trust me, you want me to spoil this torture-porn wannabe for you. She plays stigmatic twins. That’s right…you heard me. Stigmatic fucking twins. In other words, when one of her gets her leg chopped off by a serial killer with possibly the least solid motivation for doing so in cinematic history, the other one loses her leg too. With NO explanation of how this works. You still wanna see this one? If so, you deserve what you get.
1. D.O.A.: Dead or Alive — How can something be worse then stigmatic twins? Hmmm, let’s see.
a. take a fighting video game and more-or-less sanitize all the fighting
b. cast Jamie Pressley as a professional wrestler, and try to play it seriously
c. write dialogue that a stoned monkey with a brain tumor could do a better job then.
d. have the most inept wire-fu of all time.
See? Making the worst film of the year is easy! *GroinKick*
And now, the semi-long list of movies I didn’t see:
Movies I Haven’t Seen That I Must:
30 Days of Night
Across the Universe
American Gangster
Alien Vs. Predator – Requiem
The Game Plan
White Noise 2
Beowulf
Charlie Wilson’s War
Dan in Real Life
Enchanted
Hitman
I Am Legend
I’m Not There
Lars and the Real Girl
Martian Child
Michael Clayton
No Country for Old Men
Saw IV
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
The Darjeeling Limited
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
We Own the Night
Movies I Haven’t Seen And I Will:
Death at a Funeral
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Freedom Writers
Georgia Rule
In the Land of Women
License to Wed
The Invasion
The Lives of Others
The Namesake
A Mighty Heart
Amazing Grace
August Rush
Awake
Becoming Jane
Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
Bella
Death Sentence
Evening
Gone Baby Gone
Good Luck Chuck
Home of the Brave
Hot Rod
In the Valley of Elah
Interview
Into the Wild
Lions for Lambs
Meet the Robinsons
Mr. Woodcock
No Reservations
Perfect Stranger
P.S. I Love You
P2
Pride
Rendition
September Dawn
The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising
Things We Lost in the Fire
Resurrecting the Champ
The Ex
The Golden Compass
The Great Debaters
The Mist
Movies I Haven’t Seen And Won’t:
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
Are We Done Yet?
Because I Said So
Bee Movie
BRATZ
Code Name: The Cleaner
Daddy Day Camp
Delta Farce
Dragon Wars
El Cantante
Feel the Noise
Firehouse Dog
Fred Claus
Happily N’Ever After
I Think I Love My Wife
Kickin’ It Old Skool
Love in the Time of Cholera
Lucky You
Lust, Caution
Mr. Bean’s Holiday
Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium
Nancy Drew
Norbit
Paris, je t’aime
Pathfinder: Legend of the Ghost Warrior
Redline
Reno 911!: Miami
Slow Burn
Stomp the Yard
Sydney White
The Abandoned
The Astronaut Farmer
The Brave One
The Comebacks
The Host
The Jane Austen Book Club
The Last Legion
The Last Mimzy
The Lookout
The Perfect Holiday
The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep
This Christmas
Tyler Perry’s Daddy’s Little Girls
Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married
Underdog
Who’s Your Caddy?
Normally, I would give out my personal Oscar predictions, but the nominees haven’t been announced yet, so I’ll hold off until they are.
Think I’m wrong? Wanna discuss? Feel free. I’d like to see what YOU guys think the best and worst of ‘07 were.
–Jer
Now Playing: ATB – Seven Years: 1998-2005 – Let U Go [2005 Reworked]
